*raises an eyebrow* Really? Alright.
Take a fucking seat then.
*He hits the floor, groaning and grabbing the back of his head* What the hell was that for!?
Oi, we’re talking about me, not your dick.
I will not stand here and tolerate some little girl speaking to me like this.
Oi, it’s not my fault that your mother is more of a man than you are. No need to be sore at me about it.
So now you’re going to make jabs at my mother? That makes you look small and unimpressive.
Sorry, fuck truck, but I’m far from being a fucking lady.
Clearly. Your looks reflect that well.
That language is far from attractive, you know. Young ladies shouldn’t be using it.
-mumbles- Because brains really matter in bed.
Well, Lorcan. I’m Gladys Gudgeon, since you didn’t ask.
Actually yes, they do. If you’re an idiot, you’re less likely to think about what the woman wants.
Well, Gladys, manners aren’t really my top priority when someone says that Lockhart is better than me.
Well, I don’t know what you look like… so I can’t fangirl over you like some of the other girls might.
Well, just so you know, I’m extremely handsome. In fact, I’m the most handsome man in this castle.
You may proceed to fangirl now.
Darling, the best looking guy in this school is Gilderoy Lockhart. -looks at him- However, you do come in at a close second.
Please. That oaf is nothing in comparison to me.
Besides, he barely has the brains to operate his own wand.
Can’t take a little joke can you, mate?.. -rolls her eyes- Who are you anyway? I haven’t seen you around before.
Jokes, yes. Abominations, no. I’m Lorcan D’eath. How do you not know me? I’m practically the best looking guy in this castle— Wait, no, scratch that. I am the best looking guy in this castle.